


Sinister Creatures

by mothmansantennae



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Biblical Allusions, Demons, Fallen Angel Gabriel, Ineffable Bureaucracy (Good Omens), Lots of Angst, Lovers to enemies to lovers, Other, There will possibly be smut, Violence, fallen au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:20:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21842821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mothmansantennae/pseuds/mothmansantennae
Summary: ‘Coward.’ Gabriel would never forget the heartbroken word that escaped their lips when he let go. He didn’t want to fall. He made his choice.He let them go.-“Tell me again about how it hurts,” They hissed, “And remember you did this to me.”-Pre Fall Beelzebub and Fallen Angel Gabriel shenanigans! Based on “Monster” by dodie
Relationships: Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 43





	1. No One Listens to the Dead

_The beginning of time had begun before time itself. God sat in her domain, creating the first thing she ever did. Angels. Each was crafted with love, twenty of them. They met the others as they were created, stepping into the world clumsily, but with open arms. It was a lovely little sight. They stepped off of their mother’s fingers, and she’d tap their head, giving them a name._

_“Jophiel,” she hummed, pulling away from the smallest of them. The youngest. They looked back to the others, greeted with only smiling faces. This one was more hesitant, clutching the edges of their golden robes. They didn’t step towards the others. So, one of the oldest pushed through his new family, holding his hand out to them._

_“Welcome,” he hummed gently, smile faltering when he didn’t take their hand. He kept it out. “I’m Gabriel,” he said softly. They only nodded. He stepped back, tilting his head. So shy. He began to introduce the others, thirteen of them. Another one, Michael, stepped towards them, but they immediately stumbled back from her._

_Their mother chuckled softly, smiling down on her creations. “Give them time,” she cooed, her grin audible in her voice. “They’re shy.”_

_❈_

_He found them on the edge of a cliff, messing about with little living creatures. When Raphael had expressed disgust towards bugs, they promised him that they would create a bug so pretty, he would love them._

_No one knew how long it had been. Time just started. There was really no way to measure it before. He set his hands on their shoulders, laughing when they jumped._

_“Gabriel!” They whined, looking up at him. “Don’t scare me like that!”_

_“I only touched you,” he hummed, sitting down beside them. They smelled like roses, the first thing they’d managed to make._

_“Still,” they murmured, running their thumb over a wing of the creature in their hands. It turned a brilliant shade of blue, nearly white at the base. “What do you think?” They asked, holding it up to Gabriel. “I think I’ll call them butterflies.”_

_He smiled, raising his hand. The creature walked onto his hand, the color spreading to its other wing before the whole thing was blue. “It’s gorgeous,” he murmured, watching as it flew off._

_“They’ll eat flowers. They’ll be the prettiest garden bugs…” they mumbled._

_“Of course they will be,” he smiled. “You made them.”_

_❈_

_It was such a stark contrast to see them now. Clutching to Lucifer’s arm, tears staining their skin._

_They hadn’t done anything wrong. All they had done was question._

_Judgiel, though, saw that as something wrong. “Lucifer, you’ve planted a rat within these two,” he sighed, gesturing to the two beside him: Jophiel and Raphael._

_“They agreed with me,” Lucifer countered. “They believe in me.”_

_“Are you insinuating their guilt?”_

_“If that is what you choose to call it.”_

_Gabriel couldn’t keep his eyes off of Jophiel. They looked so scared. Raphael was doing his best to calm them down, but it didn’t seem to help._

_“In any case, this sin you’ve created… it spreads. We can’t have it here.”_

_“And where else would we go?” Raphael asked. “This is our home.”_

_“You will build a new home,” he growled. “I… I sentence you to banishment. You will… fall from heaven. Find asylum where you may.”_

_“Judgiel,” Gabriel objected, taking a step forward. “You’re being too harsh—“_

_“I’m being just. Your love won’t save their tainted souls, Gabriel,” he sighed, glancing at Jophiel._

_“We’re taught that love can save everyone,” his voice was wavering. “She loves us. That’s enough.”_

_“I doubt She loves them!” He snapped. With a flick of his hand, the ground beneath the three began to crumble. A few fled forward, trying to save their friends. More than just the Archangels. Little cherubs, leader Angels, and Gabriel. He held to Jophiel for dear life, but it spread. The others who tried to help fell with them._

_‘Coward.’ Gabriel would never forget the heartbroken word that escaped their lips when he let go. He didn’t want to fall. He made his choice._

_He let them go. ___

He understood the fear now. As he sat in the same spot, begging for mercy, from the same angel. 

“Gabriel, it’s above me. You managed to fuck up the Great War. You’ve costed Heaven everything.”

“Please, no, you don’t understand! It isn’t my fault!” He begged. “It was—“

“We will discuss him later,” Judgiel sighed. “This is about you. This is mercy, compared to what he will have.” He straightened out the papers in his hands. “Gabriel, Messenger of Heaven and Angel of the Moon, I sentence you to fall.”

He couldn’t speak. If he could, he wouldn’t know what to say. It was all too familiar, to see the ground begin to turn to dust. 

‘Coward.’

He had just been putting off his inevitable fate. 

Only archangels had the strength to remember their time in heaven. No other demon did. They only knew pain and darkness. They didn’t have anything to miss. The former archangels bottled their memories. They kept them hidden away, painful reminders of what they had lost. 

Beelzebub never thought they would use that memory to torture others. 

They had to admit, they were delighted when Dagon told them. And what could be better than to start off your stay in hell with public humiliation?

Low rank demons parted like the Red Sea before them as they approached Gabriel, a quivering, bleeding mess on the floor. They grabbed his hair, yanking his head up. And satan, did they enjoy his scream. 

They forced him to sit up, their nails scratching at his skin. “So, the great archangel Gabriel hazzz fallen?” They purred, the gathering crowd beginning to laugh. “How doezzz it feels?”

“It—“ he could barely form any words. “Hurts—“

They gave him a wicked grin, raising their voice. “Tell me again about how it hurtzz,” they hissed, “and remember that you did this to me!” The crowd quieted. “You’re a fucking coward. But you know that. You’ve known that since you _let me fall. _” Silence. They twisted him so he faced them. “You let me fall to prezzzzerve your status. Look where that’zzz gotten you— under Satan’zzz boot like the rest of us.” They dropped him, watching as his head hit the floor. “Heaven doezzn’t care about you anymore. Welcome home.”__


	2. Are You Still in There?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter for some backstory and angst !

“If I may?” They were simple words, and Beelzebub knew exactly what they meant. They looked at Dagon after they spoke. 

“You may,” they muttered, their eyes flickering back to their paperwork. They could see her wring her hands out of the corner of their eyes. 

“About Gabriel.” She began carefully. “Would you be—“ they cut her off with a heavy sigh, leaning back in their seat.

“I wazzz an archangel,” they muttered. 

“You— you _what _?” She sputtered.__

__“I lead the cherubzz. Have you ever questioned your loyalty to me? No. You built it in heaven.” They looked over to her, their face blank. “You’ve had it since your fall.” They waved it off. “That isn’t the point…”_ _

__They looked down to their hands, their fingers gripping their pen tightly. “I wazz his lover,” they muttered. They stayed quiet for a while, before shaking their head. “It doezzn’t matter now.” They let out a heavy sigh, setting down their pen. “Go ahead and start getting that recorporation paperwork filed,” they ordered, entirely ignoring the previous conversation._ _

__“I… yes, sir,” she nodded, turning around and quickly excusing herself. Beelzebub sighed heavily, setting down their pen. They looked around, spotting another pile of paperwork they had been ignoring. Paperwork for Gabriel._ _

__“Fuck.” they rubbed their face some, moving to grab the stack and stand up. Now they’d have to find him. Hell was a labyrinth, one that constantly changed. Normally, they made demons come to them, but they figured Gabriel was too dense for that._ _

__It took a few hours, but they eventually found him tucked away in an empty room. They didn’t knock, merely letting themselves in and dropping the stack of papers before him. “Get going, _angel, _” they buzzed. They could tell he had been crying. It filled them with a sick sense of pleasure. Seeing that prideful face stained with tears, eyes raw. He looked to the pile, then up to them.___ _

____“What?” Beelzebub hummed with a grin. “If you don’t get on with it, you’ll never be able to get to work.”_ _ _ _

____He was quiet for a moment. “Does it get any better?” he asked weakly. They only laughed._ _ _ _

____“Of course it doezzn’t. Welcome to eternal damnation, dear.” they could feel emotions coming off of him in waves. Fear, disgust, but mostly, guilt. They snapped, miracling a desk and chair into the cell. “Come on, you know how to do paperwork, don’t you?” they grabbed his hair, forcing him to look up at them as they leaned down._ _ _ _

____They still smelled like roses._ _ _ _

____They let go of him, and he finally began to push himself to his feet. He snatched up the papers, setting them on the dinky desk._ _ _ _

____“...I’m sorry.”_ _ _ _

____“Your apology meanzzz nothing, you lowlife,” they snapped, their words almost vibrating the dank air of the room. “Demons don’t know forgiveness.”_ _ _ _

____“Jophiel—” well, now he’d done it. Their hand was around his throat in an instant, squeezing the air from him._ _ _ _

____“Call me that again, I _dare _you,” their voice echoed now, fire behind their voice. “That fool is dead!” they spat.___ _ _ _

______“You killed them!” they dropped him back in the chair. Their eyes had flushed a deep red. Like blood. “Get your fucking paperwork done. If it izzn’t on my desk by midnight, I’ll do much more than just strangle you.” they turned on their heel, pausing to gain their composure. They stood up straight, clasping their hands behind their back before taking their leave._ _ _ _ _ _

_______Coward. You killed them. ____ _ _ _ _ _

________He thought about the time before the fall more than he should have. He would admit that. He’d never shown it until now. He’d remembered Ariel asking why he never addressed Beelzebub by their name. He’d never had the courage to admit it was because he couldn’t let go of what they were. Those memories weren’t a nice reminder of the good times. They were reminders of what he had lost. They weren’t even memories of important things._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________For instance, he remembered the first storm. How scared they had been. How he wrapped them up in his wings, holding them to his chest as they waited for the thunder to stop. How they’d fallen asleep there, curled up in his lap._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He remembered watching them plant flowers in the garden, roses next to white lilies. “Look, it’s us!” they had cooed, cupping one of the flowers in their hands._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He missed them. He missed Jophiel. And for what they had become, he despised Beelzebub. Had he killed them? Or had they killed themselves?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It didn’t matter anymore, he supposed. They were both dead. They were both in hell._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________The paperwork was monotonous. He’d expected that. It was much more convoluted than that of heaven, taking much longer to get through. But, he finished it far before midnight._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It took longer to find Beelzebub’s damn office. He pushed the door open, walking in without announcement— or invite, for that matter. He dropped the work on the desk, earning only a glance up from them. They waved him away without a word._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He wondered if they were still in there. If over the past six millenia, they had thought back on those memories as well. If they thought of them with fondness. Or even if they missed him, well, what he had been. Perhaps he was past their forgiveness. He shouldn’t have ever been worried about a demon’s opinion of them. But… strictly speaking, they were his boss now, technically. Perhaps he should make amends._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________God knows his life would be easier if he got back on their good side._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	3. Distillation of Sin

Hell changed physical appearances rather quickly. Much quicker than Gabriel had anticipated. And he hated it. Beelzebub hadn’t actually assigned him any real work, and man, was he grateful for that. He didn’t even want to leave what had become his room. But, like all good things, his luck ran out.

Beelzebub didn’t say anything when they entered, but a grin peeled over their lips. “Hm, you don’t make a bad demon,” they mused, taking a circle around him. “Been awhile since I’ve seen someone grow hornzzz…” the Prince ran a sharpened claw over the top of one of the curled horns that had since extended from Gabriel’s forehead. “Impressive set, though.”

“Don’t,” he sighed, pulling away from their hand. At least that was all they mentioned. His eyes bugged him the most. They had darkened to a deep plum, a color that took over his whole eye, covering the sclera. Of course, there were other changes, but those were the only ones visible. “What do you want?”

“So defensive,” they mused, knocking his head. “We’re killing Crowley. Would you like to watch?”

He cocked a brow. His immediate response was, yes, absolutely. That fucker is the reason I’m down here. And that terrified him. That wasn’t how angels were supposed to thing. That was how a demon thought. But, he supposed… “With pleasure,” he muttered, pushing himself up.

“That’zzz the spirit,” Beelzebub buzzed in delight. They left without another word, leaving Gabriel to follow, which he did diligently. He hated how badly he wanted to see this rat die. But he did. He wanted to see him suffer. But, god, did he hate the way the demon stared at him when he entered along with Beelzebub.

“Gabriel?” he asked. He was honestly surprised Crowley even remembered his name. “You… fell?”

“Because of you,” he muttered, stepping back with Dagon to watch. He despised the way that those snake eyes stayed on him until he had to actually get in the tub.

Well, what a disappointment. When he survived, just fine, beelzebub looked more confused than angry, Gabriel was only angry. Well, angry, and somewhat… relieved. Relieved that he wasn’t able to take pleasure in an execution.

But that was in the back of his head his forefront emotion was rage. It would have delighted Beelzebub if they hadn’t been so focused on _what in the hell did I just witness? _They muttered something to Dagon, making them walk away.__

__“You,” Beelzebub ordered absentmindedly. “Come with me.” Gabriel did as he was told, nodding silently. “I’m going to let the otherzzz figure out whatever the fuck just happened,” they muttered. “You… need to figure out how to uzze your new miraclezzzz. And I assume you’re to idiotic to do that without help.” they led him into their office, kicking the door closed behind them. “We’ll start with something eazzzy. Make yourself look human again,” they sighed. They sounded so bored._ _

__“I can do _that _on my own,” Gabriel scoffed.___ _

____“Don’t get mouthy with me, you idiot. Do azzz you’re told.”_ _ _ _

____He rolled his eyes, but nodded. It did take him a while, though, which only made Beelzebub smile cockily. He was so used to using celestial energy. But he didn’t have that._ _ _ _

____“Get in a mood,” Beelzebub offered. “I’m sure you have plenty of wrath built up there, some pride? You’ve got to engage with sin before you can spread it.”_ _ _ _

____So, he brought what made him feel the worst. Guilt. It was all too easy after that. Disgustingly easy. The features disappeared within a few seconds. Beelzebub smiled, their fangs glinting in the electric lights._ _ _ _

____“Good,” they buzzed, sitting down on their desks. “Funnel negative energy. Demonic miraclezz are distillation of sin. That’zzz why, the better demon you are, the more power you have,” they explained, leaning back. They pressed a button on their terribly outdated office phone, waiting for the beep. “Taking a quick trip up top.”_ _ _ _

____“Yes, sir,” Dagon’s voice replied._ _ _ _

____They looked back to Gabriel, jumping off of their desk. “Your best temptationzzz will come from your own sinzzz,” they explained, passing a hand over their face, the myiasis that covered their face replaced with freckles. He couldn’t help but see a flash of Jophiel._ _ _ _

____“You have your own entrance to earth?”_ _ _ _

____“Of course I do,” they scoffed. “You really expected less? For me?” They shook their head as they began up. They were never his hands on with other demons. But he didn’t need to know that. He didn’t need to know anything. He didn’t need to know that they had spent thousands of years trying to escape the memories they held from him. Thousands of years crying._ _ _ _

____He didn’t need to know anything, no._ _ _ _

____Especially not that for the first time in centuries, they had a spark of hope in the pit of their stomach. It was an emotion they couldn’t even remember. It felt terrible and strange. They tried to ignore it. They were trying to ignore a lot of things. That their heart had started beating again. The familiar smell of lavender whenever he got close to them. How _damn hot he was with demonic features. _____ _ _

______Mostly, they were trying to ignore the memories rushing at them left and right. The smallest things he did brought them forward. The way he would tap his foot when he thought, his nervous habit of tugging at his sleeves. They didn’t want to remember what they had lost. They especially didn’t want to think that they could heal. They shouldn’t want to heal. They should revel in the thought that he was miserable, that they had a clear separation, that he would never get to see them smile. To use those damn memories as fuel for their fire. Not to miss them, to miss _him _.___ _ _ _ _ _

________“Beelzebub.” They snapped back to reality, realizing they had been quiet for an awful long time, and they only narrowly missed tripping on the end of the escalator. They stumbled forward, groaning some._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Fuck,” they buzzed, standing up straight and dusting themselves off. “Sorry. I was thinking.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I know.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________They cocked a brow, looking up to him. They weren’t an archangel long enough to develop any empathy. They could sense pain, fear, guilt, sure. But Gabriel knew almost exactly what they were feeling. But mentioning it would be suicide._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He supposed, for today, silence was enough._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	4. Let This Die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone wondering, I've made Gabe's animal a Bharal in this!

Gabriel didn’t think Hell would celebrate Christmas. But, he slowly figured out way. It raised morale. Because everything got worse in December. It took lots of asking, but it was common knowledge. December was the month of the original fall. Both the devil and his right hand became balls of anger, and the celebration of the birth of Christ didn’t help their moods. 

So, demons had twisted the holiday into something that was a celebration of corporate greed. Christmas was commercial. So, even if their bosses were mad, they had a little something to be happy about. 

No one would admit it, but it really did help. Pretty decorations, an excuse to leave hell, it was nice. But this year, when the month began, it was… off. No new orders. No snippy boss. Beelzebub was holed up in their office, and hadn’t been out for days. Having Gabriel here made the already miserable month, well, hell. 

They were draped across their chair, holding a small white rose between their fingers. They weren’t Christmas flowers, per say, but Beelzebub likes falling back on that as an excuse for planting them. Their office door wasn’t locked, but everyone knew better than to go in. 

Well, almost. Gabriel had had enough of Dagon’s complaining about a lack of work, and figured, he could handle them. He hoped. 

“Get out,” they said as soon as they heard the door open. 

“Beelzebub,” he sighed. Oddly, they didn’t repeat themselves. They tightened their grip on the flower, puncturing their fingers on the thorns. “What in satan’s name is wrong with you?”

“I don’t like Christmas,” they said simply. They smeared their blood on the white petals, painting them a gruesome red. 

“Dagon’s been talking my ear off, and it’s pure chaos out there. Please give them something to do.”

“That sounds like a ‘you’ problem.”

“She says you’re usually not this bad in December.”

“Well, you can tell her to fuck right off!” They buzzed, moving to throw the flower at his head. He merely sighed, looking down to it. 

“This isn’t about Christmas, is it?” He asked softly, kneeling down to pick up the bloodied rose. “This is about your fall.”

“Fuck off,” they rolled their eyes, sitting up properly. “Why would I care about that?”

“...Beelzebub, I can tell what you’re upset about.”

“You don’t fucking know me,” they grumbled. 

“Maybe… maybe not, but I know your body language. I know your facial expressions. I know,” they held the flower up, “you wouldn’t be playing with this, if you weren’t thinking about it.”

“So what if I am?” They huffed. “That doesn’t concern you.”

“Sure it does,” he began to pace, a slow circle. “You’re worse this year because I’m here.”

“You really think you’re so important?” They scoffed. 

“To hell? No. To you..? Maybe.” He set it down on your desk. “I may have lost my celestial powers, but I can still sense emotions clear as day.”

“Piss. Off. Demons don’t have emotions, they fade after a few centuries.”

Gabriel let out a heavy sigh, shaking his head. He turned on his heel, ready to take his leave. He paused at the door, his step faltering. 

“I miss you too, Bee,” he mumbled, stepping out and closing the door. 

They froze up, looking up at the door as it closed. They felt their heart start up with its incessant beating again, so foreign that they could hear every pump of blood. “God fucking damnit,” they hissed, hitting their chest. “Stupid fucking…” they sighed, covering their face. They thought it would be fun when Gabriel fell. They thought they could get back at him. Torture him. But he beat them to it. 

_I miss you too, Bee. _Not, “I can tell you miss me,” not even, “I miss you, Jophiel.”__

__They didn’t want to admit they missed him. It would mean admitting defeat. It would mean admitting that they couldn’t funnel all their emotions into sin. It would mean admitting they were fucking pathetic._ _

__They could feel tears stinging the corners of their eyes. Demons don’t cry, they didn’t cry. They didn’t let them fall. They couldn’t. They tried their best. But as soon as they blinked, droplets trickled down their face. “Weak,” they whispered to themselves, wiping the salt from their face._ _

__They pulled their knees up to their chest, setting their feet on their chair. They pressed a button on their phone, speaking as steadily as they could._ _

__“Dagon, send troop twenty-nine over to London, anti-christian protest.” They wanted to punch themselves, hearing how shaky their voice was._ _

__“Oh, thank Satan,” Dagon replied. “I’ll be right on it.”_ _

__Gabriel re-entered the room he had been sitting with Dagon in, only catching the tail end of what she said. “Did that work?”_ _

__She looked up at them. “What the fuck did you say to them?” She seemed in awe. “They… were crying.” Gabriel forced a smile._ _

__“Not my place to tell you. They did say, though, that you can ‘fuck right off.’”_ _

__“They don’t mean it,” she rolled her eyes with a bit of a smile. “Thanks, in any case. I was close to discorporating myself.”_ _

__“You really do love paperwork, don’t you?” He was only met with a laugh as she left the room. His smile fell. They… were crying. He made them cry. “Demons don’t have emotions, my ass,” he sighed, closing his eyes._ _

__He remembered the first time he’d ever seen Beelzebub cry. Sure, Jophiel was an utter crybaby, but it seemed like they lost the trait when they fell. It had been in Jerusalem, when they were tempting Judas. It was an empty bar, just the two of them. Then Gabriel walked in._ _

__“...thirty piecezzz of silver. It won’t be that hard,” he heard Beelzebub mumble. The buzzing had grated his ears. Gabriel had to pause for a moment. It was the first time he had seen them since that December. And they were tempting an _apostle _, of all mortals. The last thing he wanted to do was speak to them, but he had to intervene.___ _

____“Jophiel,” he interrupted. They stopped speaking, their hand balling into a fist._ _ _ _

____“Jophiel’zzzz dead,” they had been trying their hardest to sound nonchalant. “Sorry to disappoint.” He raised a brow. His first thought was that they had forgotten, like every demon he’d met. But every demon he’d met knew their name. But that notion disappeared when they spoke again. “You’re a little late to be caring about them.” They looked up at him, leaning against the table. “Judas, think on my offer. Get back to me by sunrizzzze, if you could. Move along, then,” they shooed him away. He only nodded in a panic, running out of the tavern._ _ _ _

____“Tempting apostles… that’s below you.” He muttered, taking the seat beside them. They leaned away._ _ _ _

____“Nothing’zzzz below me, Archangel,” they replied, sipping at their mead. He cringed at the sound. “You stink of heaven.”_ _ _ _

____“What in God’s name is that awful sound you’re making?” He asked._ _ _ _

____“What, my voizzzzze?” They exaggerated the buzzing to annoy him. “You never were good at being zzzzubtle.”_ _ _ _

____“So you remember.”_ _ _ _

____“Of courzzze I remember. What do you think I am, an incubus?” They scoffed._ _ _ _

____“None of the others I’ve met have.”_ _ _ _

____“The powerful can,” they corrected. “You’re looking at the Prince of Hell, you lowlife.” They grinned, their fangs on full display for him._ _ _ _

____“Lowlife?” He furrowed his brows. “Jophiel, this—“_ _ _ _

____“Don’t call me that,” they growled. “Jophiel is dead. They died a long time ago.” Their tone of voice was enough to shut him up._ _ _ _

____They flagged down the barkeep, waving him over. “Another,” they ordered._ _ _ _

____“On it, sir. Mead, or..?”_ _ _ _

____“Something with more alcohol, or it’zzzz your job,” they snapped. He nodded quickly, but faltered when he saw Gabriel._ _ _ _

____“That’s—“_ _ _ _

____“Ignore him, for satan’zzz sake! Get me my drink, Ligur!”_ _ _ _

____“Sorry, Your Highness,” he quickly disappeared into the back. Ah, so, it was another demon. How many of them lurked on earth, Gabriel wondered?_ _ _ _

____He stayed silent as they waited for their drink, their eyes fixed on the other demon. He filled the glass to the brim, setting it in front of them. “Anything else for now, Lord Beelzebub?”_ _ _ _

____They shook their head, bringing the glass to their lips. Gabriel was wide eyed. “You’re… you’re Beelzebub?” He asked. He had heard of Beelzebub, sure, but he… he had never made a connection to Jophiel. Beelzebub was the worst of the worst. The orchestrator of the Ten Plagues. A breeder of chaos. A demon he’d come to hate._ _ _ _

____He couldn’t process that that demon and his Jophiel were one in the same._ _ _ _

____“What about it?” They sighed, bringing the glass to their lips._ _ _ _

____“But…”_ _ _ _

____They smirked a bit. “What, you’ve heard of me? Are you disgusted? Repulzzzed? _Do you hate me? _”___ _ _ _

______“...Yes.” He pushed himself up, stepping back. “What has hell done to you?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“It’zzz not about what hell’zzzzz done to me, it’zzz about what I’ve done to hell. Hell didn’t do anything to me.” They traced the rim of their glass with their finger. “You, on the other hand? You’ve done a lot to me. You let this happen.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“That isn’t true,” he protested. “You would have fallen weather I let go or not.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Oh, but hadn’t you said you’d give your life for me? Didn’t you promise to be there for me? _Didn’t you say you loved me? _?” They grit their teeth. “You’re a double crossing bastard, and that’zzz all.”___ _ _ _ _ _

________“Jophiel, I—“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Don’t!” They barked. Tears pricked at the corners at their eyes. “Don’t. Ever. Call me that again. Jophiel was a fool. Jophiel was a naïve little child that thought you would help them. They followed blindly, and were killed when they thought to think for themselves.” Tears were pouring down their face now. Ligur was staring in horror. To think that this bastard could bring the Prince of Hell down to this level._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Get out,” they ordered. “Or I’ll rip your corporation limb from limb so slowly, you’ll bleed out first.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You wouldn’t.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Would you like to test that? I’m sure ripping apart an archangel will get me a shiny new medal.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Don’t speak like that! This isn’t you!” He yelled. They grabbed the collar of his robe, throwing him down to the ground. Despite their small corporation, they had the strength to beat Goliath. They immediately dug their claws into his shoulder, snapping the tendons in the process._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Izzzzn’t me? Izzn’t me! You don’t know me! You don’t know what I’m capable of!” They pushed their fingers in deeper, making the archangel cry out helplessly. “You don’t know how much rage is stored in this tiny little body. How long I’ve waited to hurt you. Your pain is delicious!” They nicked the artery that pumped beneath their fingers, the wound beginning to rhythmically spurt blood. “You made me like this. Now you get to taste the consequences of your actions.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________True to their word, that was the first time Gabriel was ever discorporated. He learned the extent of their anger that day. But never of their misery. No, he was learning that now, unable to ignore the broken waves of love they put out. Those tears dropped with rage. These ones were of emptiness._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“No emotions. My ass.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	5. Misery

Orders were flowing like normal now. For most, work returned to normal. Beelzebub’s lack of appearance didn’t bother them, in fact, they were happy not to see their boss for a while. Dagon was the only one that shared some sort of semblance of friendship with them. She was worried. Gabriel was, too, but he wouldn’t let on that. He just shut up and did his work. 

She was careful when turning the knob of the door to their office, trying to be as quiet as possible. The place was much messier than usual, the prince passed out on the (terribly stiff, uncomfortable) sofa that sat at the edge of the office. She clicked her tongue, carefully stepping over the abandoned paperwork and such strewn about the floor. 

“Beelzebub,” she sighed in exasperation, poking them in the chest. Their eyes flashed open, their hand immediately tightly around her wrist, claws digging into her flesh. “Jesus, it’s only me!” She pulled back, wiping away the blood. “Nightmares?”

They let out a heavy sigh, sitting up and nodding. They rubbed their face, grumbling quietly. “Fuck off,” they muttered. 

“No, stop being a whore. Let’s go to the red light district and take shots of everclear. We can kill whoever you want. Just get the fuck up.”

“I don’t _want _to go to the red light district,” they folded their arms, getting to their feet. “Earth is extra dizzzzgusting this time of year.”__

__“Then let’s just go fuck around! Stab a mall Santa! You’re above wallowing in your office.”_ _

__“You make a tempting offer,” they laughed weakly, looking around. “Demonzz wallow. I’m doing nothing out of the ordinary.”_ _

__“What, then, in all nine circles of hell, is wrong? What the hell is Gabriel doing to you, huh?”_ _

__“He isn’t doing shit,” they spat. “Why do you assume it’s about him?”_ _

__“Because he made you cry. I’ve never seen you cry in the past six millenia! For fuck’s sake, do you need a therapy session?”_ _

__“I’m just dandy. Why are you so bothered? I have plenty of assignmentzz you can take.”_ _

__“Beelzebub. Talk to me, or I’ll take to playing dirty.” That made them stiffen up. Dagon had tons of blackmail material on them._ _

__“Why do you care so much?”_ _

__“Because you’re the only bearable piece of shit in this cesspit.” They went silent for some time. Finally, they just sat back down, placing their face in their hands._ _

__“When we first fell… Lucifer, he told me not to be worried or sad, because Gabriel would fall too. God made us to be loverzz, so no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, he would eventually fall becauzzze I’m more important to him.” Their voice wavered some. “But… I think the opposite happened. It took a lot for Lucifer to convince _me _that I did the right thing… I had nightmarezz for centuriezzz. And I just missed him so badly. It wazzz a long time before I could turn that into anger.” They grit their teeth, tears welling below their eyes. “But I’m the one who can’t fucking get over it, even azzz much azzz I hate him!”___ _

____Dagon’s expression softened as the prince spoke. “You… still love him,” she simplified, sitting down beside them. “And you can’t ignore it now that he’s in hell.” They nodded, taking a deep breath._ _ _ _

____“He got out of it because I’m not who I wazzz. I’m not the angel he wazzz made to love.” they leaned back against the rest of the sofa. “I’m convinced that’s my personal torture.”_ _ _ _

____“I… didn’t know demons could feel _love _. I didn’t think we could feel much past camaraderie.” Beelzebub let out a broken chuckle as she spoke. “What does… What does it feel like?”___ _ _ _

______“Terrible,” they answered shortly. “Your heart beatzzz and you can’t make it stop, and you get this tickly sensation right under your ribzzz. It’zz nightmarezz and crying and--” they stopped, their voice catching at the base of their throat. They let out a quiet, choked sob. They felt so weak and vunerable, but at least the only one seeing them like this was Dagon. “You know what, I do need a drink.” they wiped their eyes on their sleeves, pulling away from Dagon to stand up._ _ _ _ _ _

______“It sure seems like it,” she responded softly. She placed a hand on their back, leading them out to the exit._ _ _ _ _ _

______❈_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’ve never seen them more miserable in their life.” While going out and drinking did cheer Beelzebub for some time, it faded as soon as the alcohol did. She had never guessed she would stoop to the level of telling Gabriel. Yet, here she was. “Fucking do something about it.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’m… sorry?” Gabriel looked up from his work as he heard Dagon open his door to speak. “It’s four in the morning. I thought you slept.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I do, most of the time. I went out with Beelz. And they’re fucking miserable. Back to my point. Fix. This.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“What am I supposed to do about it?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You know exactly what’s happening, d’ya not? Don’t play the idiot card with me.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Not really, no. I have suspicions, that’s all. They associate me with their fall, so I doubt I make this time of year any better for them.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“What— their fall? You dumbass, that’s not what this is about anymore!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“What do you mean, anymore? Dagon, what the hell has gotten into you?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______She grit her teeth, balling her hands into fists. “This is about _you. _”___ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’m fairly sure that’s not right. They only care about me because we’ve been enemies since the moment they fell.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“No! Satan, you’re dense!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“If I’m so bad at guessing, then why don’t you tell me what the fuck is going on?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She went quiet, closing the door. “You really don’t know, do you?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I obviously don’t. So if you’re going to yell at me, at least tell me what’s happening.” He watched her opener mouth to speak, then close it. As if she suddenly doubted what she was about to say. She stayed quiet for a long moment._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“They still love you.” Her voice was quiet. “None of us know what love feels like. I didn’t think they could love either.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“...It’s only residual. They hate me now. They’ve discorporated me four-thousand-two-hundred-twenty-eight times.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“They wouldn’t have admitted they love you if it was residual.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“They—they did what?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I got them to talk. Want to know what they said when I asked what love felt like? They said that it was their personal torture. They can’t control their own damn corporation. They said that their heart was beating. They haven’t let their heart beat since 4227 a.d.. Fucking. Fix it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I can’t help what they feel!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“No, but you can help them fucking react to it! You were made to be lovers, weren’t you? Don’t you love them too?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Gabriel froze up, going silent. She saw him clench up his fist, his body going stiff. “I… of course I do.” He looked away. “But I’d put that in the very back of my mind. I— I had to, if I wanted to do my job.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Well, that isn’t your job anymore, you dumbass. Go make them feel better, or I’ll discorporate you and withhold the paperwork.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“And what do you suggest I do, Dagon?” He hissed. “We’ve been ignoring it and preparing for war for six millenia.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I don’t know. I don’t know how love works. Just fix it,” she ordered, turning to leave. “Just go to talk to them.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Just go talk to them. As if it were that easy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	6. Infestation

_London, June 25, 1350._

_Gabriel was the only ‘priest’ that allowed the public into his convent. Any other one refused entry, fearful of the plague they were meant to eradicate. He, of course, couldn’t get it. But, the amount of Celestial energy all of this healing had taken was absurd. There was only one doctor in the city available to treat patients. The rest were dead._

_And as far as Gabriel knew, they weren’t helpful. He thought it was just mortal failure. As he began making house calls, he saw them more often. Cloaked in black, obscured by a mask, he had never heard them speak._

_That was, until, a family had called both of them at the same time. They had beaten him to the house. For the first time, he heard their voice, and it was all too familiar. It was louder bouncing around in their mask, a repulsive buzzing that made him shiver. He had seen them many times since that day in Jerusalem, and every time, it ended with him being discorporated._

_“There’zzz no promise that I can do much. Her infection’zzz already advanced. I’ll do what I can,” they promised. A lie._

_“As will I,” Gabriel interrupted as he was let into the home. Beelzebub whipped around. He didn’t need to see their face to know they were scowling at him._

_“Ah, Brother Gabriel.” Their voice was bitter, though it was masked in politeness. “I assure you, I’ll take care of this with all I can do. Your servicezz— services won’t be required.”_

_“Nonsense!” It seemed they thought he couldn’t recognize them. He extended a hand to shake. “I’d never caught your name, sir.”_

_They hesitated, but shook it nonetheless. “Doctor Benedict Baker.”_

_“Alliterative.”_

_“Dr. Baker will suffice. I do insist, Brother, I can stand my own here. Besides, I wouldn’t want you to be exposed to the bad air here.”_

_“I’ll be fine, doctor. I’ll get to blessing the house,” he said this to the owner, a cropper by the name of Samuel. He saw Beelzebub seize up, “Samuel, would you be so kind as to fetch me a bucket of well water?”_

_“Of course, brother,” the old man nodded, slowly gathering his hat and bucket before leaving. Beelzebub sighed quietly, going to ‘tend’ the patient._

_Gabriel leaned against the bed, looking over them. “Baker, really? You made that up on the spot, didn’t you?”_

_They looked up, feigning confusion. “Sorry?”_

_“I know it’s you, you can drop it.” He glanced at the girl laying motionless in the bed. “She’s already dead, isn’t she?”_

_They growled quietly. “Not quite. But far enough that you can’t save her. If you bless this house, I’ll light you up in hellfire.”_

_“I don’t intend to. Where’s her soul going?”_

_“Heaven. She was the one giving out bread two yearzzz ago.”_

_“Ah, her. Lovely girl.”_

_“Dizzzgusting, really.” They reaches up to remove their hat, carefully untying their mask. Their face had a thin sheen of sweat on it, their hair messy and damp. “Satan, I hate this thing.”  
“Why do you wear it, then?”_

_“Appearancezzzz. It’s also a place for them to nest.”_

_“Them?”_

_They held the mask forward, revealing it to be full of damp moss, and fleas, where the flowers should be. He recoiled at the sight, making them grin. “Aren’t they cute? All full of Yersinia Pezzztis.” They reached in to take a few out, dropping them on the floor to scatter. “Pestilence helped me perfect the bacteria, but the onezzz that are stored in here have a much stronger strain. Probably…” they didn’t let their eyes flicker down as one crawled onto Gabriel’s boot, under his pant leg. “Enough to kill even our corporations.”_

_Gabriel shivered, shaking his head. “Fleas are not insects I tolerate.”_

_“Saying that impliezzzz that you tolerate some insectzzz.”_

_“Well, I do. Ladybugs, dragonflies, bees, butt— well, you understand.”_

_“Sure,” they shrugged, tying the mask back to their face. “Anywayzzz, don’t waste a miracle on her, she’zzz too far gone.”_

_❈_

_“Doctor Baker,” came a weak voice from beside them as they picked flowers to turn to potpourri. She sounded panicked. Beelzebub looked up, humming inquisitively. A nun stood behind them, a rosary clasped between her hands. “I… Brother Gabriel has fallen ill. Please, I’ll pay you anything, we all will, if you help him.”_

_They grinned beneath their mask, shoving the flowers in their pockets. “Of course. Izzzz he in his chapel?” They asked smoothly._

_“Yes. He woke up with a terrible fever, and his neck is red and swollen.”_

_“Oh, dear. That doesn’t sound promising. Lead me there if you will, sister?”_

_They were glad no one could see their face. They were smiling ear-to-ear. This was probably the most miserable discorporation they’d ever given him. Their feet burned on the tile of the church, but they hardly even noticed._

_“Here,” the nun gestured to a door at the back of a hall. “I don’t dare go further.”_

_“This is enough, dear sister. Thank you for thinking to fetch me.” They bowed shortly, venturing to and inside the door. “Ah, man, poor Gabriel,” they hummed, closing the door and untying their mask. “One of my petzzz must have escaped! I’m terribly sorry,” they purred._

_Gabriel was curled up under covers on a linen bed in the corner, coughing violently. Blood trickled from his lips. “What are you doing here?” He asked weakly._

_“Oh, Sister Agatha came to get me. She said you had finally fallen to the illness. The bad air, that is,” they giggled, stepping to stand over the bed. “After all, who’zzz going to be called, but the doctor?”_

_“You’re a bastard.”_

_“And you’re a two-timing coward. Nothing new.”_

_“This is the worst one yet,” he groaned, forcing himself to sit up. “Well, maybe not… it’s a close call to when you dipped your claws in arsenic.”_

_“Perhapzzz I’ll have to do that again, so you can have better reference.”_

_“I’m suffering enough as is,” he groaned, moving to hold his head. They grinned wickedly._

_“Today should be your last day, don’t worry your pretty little head,” they purred, false sweetness dripping from their voice. “I’ll give you a pretty funeral. You know, throw your corporation into the river! Then, you can infect all sea life you come in contact with.”_

_“Whatever you say, your highness,” he muttered, closing his eyes slowly. ___

__They still had that mask hanging in their office, Gabriel had noticed. God, this place was a mess. Complete with a passed out, hungover demon prince curled up in a blanket, balled up in their chair._ _

__He had to smile._ _

__He began gathering up the papers strewn about the floor, stacking them in neat piles on the corner of their desk. He moved their glass so it couldn’t knock and spill, capping the bottle of alcohol that sat beside it._ _

__Beelzebub groaned at the quiet noises, moving around in their sleep. “Fuck off, Dagon,” they muttered, not even half awake. He laughed softly, stepping back to look at them._ _

__“You’ve been passed out for eight hours,” he informed. They frowned when it wasn’t Dagon’s voice that answered them, sitting up as quickly as they could._ _

__“Oh, bloody hell,” they hissed, bringing their hand to their head. “That hurt.” He signed some, leaning on their desk._ _

__“You look terrible.”_ _

__“Good.”_ _

__“Not good. You look like you’ve been crying drunk.”_ _

__“How would you even know what that looks like?” They grumbled, looking away. “What— you cleaned my office?”_ _

__“A clean environment will help you focus,” he hummed cheerfully. They groaned a bit, leaning back._ _

__“Why in satan’s name are you so happy, then?”_ _

__“Got my paperwork done, is all.”_ _

__“What, you want more?”_ _

__“Can’t say I do. I’ll take it if it’s needed, though.” they groaned quietly, setting their face in their hands. They had been drunk and crying. But that wasn’t the point. “I just wanted to check on you,” he explained softly._ _

__“Why the hell would you want to do that?”_ _

__“Believe it or not, you grump, I care,” he rolled his eyes, folding his arms. They opened their mouth, but snapped it shut quickly. They looked away, shrugging a bit._ _

__“Whatever,” they muttered, they felt their throat swelling up again. God, they were pathetic. They swallowed thickly, grabbing at a pen. “Go check on that whole Salvation Army thing,” they ordered. “Make sure no one’s finding out how they use the money, or whatever,” they ordered, waving him away. He could see their eyes become glassy. He sighed some, but nodded. He pat their head some, like he had done all those centuries ago._ _

__“Maybe go get some fresh air,” he suggested, retracting his hand before turning to leave._ _


	7. Changaa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was trying to get to a kiss before tonight so I can have some cute Christmas content so!

It had become something of a habit now. Beelzebub would make a mess of their office, disappear for a day or two. Gabriel would come in and clean, they would talk for a minute. Then a few minutes. Then an hour. 

Now, hours. They had been holed up in their office for hours. Beelzebub was drunk beyond what Gabriel assumed they could even physically hold. They were a talkative drunk. He also found they liked the most _disgusting _drinks that they could get their hands on. Baby mice wine, full English cocktails, cement mixers, straight jägermeister, tharra, and and a generous (excessive) amount of changaa were among some of the things they had ingested tonight. And he thought regular food was bad. This was disgusting.__

__They were currently on the ground, a half-empty bottle of battery-acid brewed liquor in their hand. The stuff left burns on their hands when it spilled, but miraculously, did no damage when they drank it. “I dun’fuckin know. I sorta wanna make a Chrizzztmazzz sweater that.. that sayzzzz, ‘Merry fockin’ capitalizzzzt conzzzzumer-driven corruption of a pagan fertility fezzzzztival’. Izzzz that too much to azzzzk?” They rambled, unable to control the amount of buzzing they made in such an inebriated state. “Can… can you knit? If ya can… do that.”_ _

__“How much alcohol do you think you’ve ingested tonight, bee?” Gabriel asked with a chuckle, looking down to them and folding his arms. They had taken off their jacket and sash, and really looked a mess._ _

__“Bollockzzzzz if I know,” they shrugged, moving to take another glug of changaa. Gabriel grabbed their hand before they could, prying the bottle from their hand. “Hey!” They whined, sitting up._ _

__“Jesus, this stuff smells terrible!” He gagged, capping it to put out of their reach (which wasn’t all that hard)._ _

__“Give it back!”_ _

__“No, you’ve had quite enough,” he chided. “Are you going to sober up before you regret it?”_ _

__“Abzzzzolutely not, wanker. Only weaklingzzzz sober up.”_ _

__“For someone who sleeps a lot, you sure seem to make it miserable.”_ _

__“Sloth izzzz a sin! It’zz for work,” they defended, doing their best to stand up._ _

__“Well then, get to work. You’re going to be a mess by morning.”_ _

__“Fuck off, I’m fine,” they grumbled, nearing falling over. Gabriel had to move to catch them._ _

__“Clearly not. You’re going to bed,” he chided, pushing them towards the couch they had been taking most of their naps on. They whined and grumbled, but Gabriel was much bigger than them, and could easily subdue them. “Bed. Now.”_ _

__“Fuck you,” they murmured, rolling over and getting comfortable. They shut their eyes tightly, creasing and wrinkling their skin. Gabriel went quiet, staring at them for a moment or two. Their face relaxed then, and it seemed like they had passed clean out._ _

__He smiled, leaning down and placing a kiss to their forehead (he would have gone for their lips, if they weren’t covered in battery acid). He gently pushed back their hair before getting up to leave. Only once the door closed did the prince sit up, touching their forehead where he had kissed._ _

__Okay, so maybe they would sober up. Just to process what the hell just happened. When the alcohol was back in its place and the only effect left was the aftertaste, it truly sunk in what had just happened. He’d kissed them. The absolute bastard._ _

__Their heart began again._ _

__Hope was a sick, unfamiliar feeling to them. It panicked them. The only thing they could really think to do was miracle themselves fast asleep._ _

__And of course, pretend they didn’t remember the event the next time Gabriel came by. In fact, they didn’t even recognize Gabriel’s presence the next time they saw him, as he didn’t directly need it. Though, they _had _to speak to him the next time he came in to clean.___ _

____“... Don’t you get tired of this?” They asked, breaking the silence._ _ _ _

____“Not really,” he shrugged. “It seems to make you happy, I like making you happy.”_ _ _ _

____“Don’t say that,” they muttered, nearly snapping their pen in half._ _ _ _

____“And why not? It’s true,” he shrugged._ _ _ _

____“I don’t feel happiness anymore. Enjoyment… maybe. I’m a sadizzzt. That’s the closezzzt I get.”_ _ _ _

____“Fine. Satisfaction, then?” He chucked, leaning against the desk. He reached out to touch their cheek, caressing their face gently. “I don't know. Whatever you're putting out feels an awful lot like happiness.”_ _ _ _

____“Oh, sod off!” They whined, though they instinctively leaned into his hand. He smiled gently, running his thumb over their cheekbone. They buzzed quietly, their eyes fluttering closed._ _ _ _

____“You’re cute,” he cooed, smiling gently._ _ _ _

____“Mm… m’not,” they murmured._ _ _ _

____“Hadn’t you promoted me to a marquis? Does that not give me some sort of authority?”_ _ _ _

____“Marquisezzzz… are still below the prinzzze,” they sighed, relaxing in his touch. He smiled gently, pausing for a moment before leaning down to press a gentle kiss to their lips._ _ _ _

____They melted against it before they quite registered what was happening, buzzing contentedly against the other. It was only after a few seconds that they opened their eyes, pushing him away with a frown. “It’zzz dangerouzz to instill false hope into demonzzz, you know.”_ _ _ _

____“I— sorry?” He asked, tilting his head aside._ _ _ _

____“I know Dagon told you, you don’t need to play her game,” they sighed, gritting their teeth before going back to her work._ _ _ _

____“What, game?” He laughed a bit. “Why are you so sure that’s what I’m doing?”_ _ _ _

____“Because,” they began, “You love Jophiel. Not me.” It was a simple, non-elaborative answer, that they thought would end the conversation._ _ _ _

____“Bee,” Gabriel’s voice was soft, assuring. He gently took their chin, but they pulled away. “You’ve said it yourself a thousand times. They’re dead.”_ _ _ _

____“Never seemed to stop you before.”_ _ _ _

____“I had something in my head, you know that. I was forced to see you as the enemy. You know the games they play.” They stayed silent, making him frown. “Let me tell you what Michael told me, after that first time I met you. She looked at me and said, ‘this is the only time I’ll admit mother was a fool. She must have known they would fall.’ And I told her, ‘I’ll get over it. I know what they’ve done.’ But you know what? I never did. And every time you discorporated me, I’d try to rationalize that, look, they keep killing you. Why can’t you just hate them like you’re supposed to?”_ _ _ _

____He looked down, staring at his hands. “And I kept trying to tell myself that, demons can’t love. You’re just torturing yourself by hanging onto them. And so, what I did, I shoved that into the back of my soul, and I did my best to hate you. That was the only thing, that I thought you didn’t love me anymore.” They looked up at him, furrowing their brows. “But, when Dagon told me you did…” he shrugged a bit, rubbing his hand through his hair. “There’s nothing that means I have to hate you anymore.”_ _ _ _

____“I’m hesitant to believe you.”_ _ _ _

____“And why is that?”_ _ _ _

____“Call me a pessimizzzzt, but you could entirely be manipulating me to get to a higher bureaucratic position.” They tapped their pen in their hand. “So if That’zz it, give it up now, becauzzze I wouldn’t be raising you to shit.”_ _ _ _

____“Bee!” He laughed a bit, placing a finger under their chin. “I’m content with the position you’ve given me. Besides, I doubt I would be able to handle anything more.” They stared at him for a moment, their icy blue eyes practically boring holes into his mind. “But, if you don’t want me showing any affection towards you, I understand.” He let go of their chin, pushing himself to stand._ _ _ _

____“...You know,” they murmured. “You should be worse now. You should have lozzzt your spark, your politenezzz, whatever. But you’re still just a fucking angel in a demon’zzz body.”_ _ _ _

____He smiled, laughing gently. “What’s that supposed to mean?”_ _ _ _

____“You gave me the option of an out. And not becauzzze you’re scared of me. You care, and it’zzz disguzzzting.”_ _ _ _

____“Thank you?” He chuckled, looking away. Beelzebub grumbled, getting up and walking over to the other. They grabbed his lapels, pulling him down to their level. It was rough—just like the kiss that followed. Gabriel just about fell right over._ _ _ _

____“Don’t let it get to your head, wank-wingzzz…”_ _ _ _


	8. The Witching Hour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all this is no longer a no beta we die like men cause we got a beta reader ! 👏🏻 No more frenchie fuck ups for me

“Have you ever killed something?”

Beelzebub was like a shadow. Gabriel hadn’t noticed them enter his office until they spoke. He jumped at the voice, placing a hand over his chest. Their voice was low and quiet, their words almost echoing in an infernal buzz. “What?” He asked, looking back at them. “No, how long have you been standing there?"

“Long enough,” they answered simply. Maybe five minutes. Maybe more, they didn’t know. It was the middle of the night, the only sound being the screams of the damned from the lower circles of hell. They knew Gabriel didn’t sleep, yet, it was still bizarre to find him awake.

“Well, your highness, what are you doing stalking about my office at three in the morning?” He sighed, leaning back to look at them.

“I couldn’t sleep,” they shrugged. It was painfully obvious that this wasn’t the full answer, but it was dangerous to see how far he could push without aggravating them. He didn’t know how short their temper was when it came to them. “You said no?”

“Correct… why do you ask?” He chose his words carefully, speaking slowly as he thought. They brushed off the question, leaning back against the wall and folding their arms.

“You don’t sleep, right?” They asked instead, their eyes darting aside. He shook his head, furrowing his brows. “You shouldn’t,” they murmured, closing their eyes. “Demons don’t have dreamzzz, did you know that? We only have nightmarezzz.”

“Is that why you couldn’t sleep?” He asked, pushing himself to sit up. He took a few steps towards them, looking more worried than anything.

“I dreamt… well, I dreamt that I killed an angel. I’m not sure who, hizzzz face was all blurry. But they were just about as small as me,” they began. “But… then he wazzzn’t, and then I could see hizzz face, and it wazzz you. And I killed you.” They looked as if they were simply recounting events at work, a drastic difference to their shaky voice. “Funny, huh?”

Gabriel frowned as he listened, tilting his head slightly. _Funny. _“Were you… checking on me, then?” He inquired. They only shrugged.__

“You never really know what’zzz a nightmare and what’zzz not. God playzz funny games like that. I think she tailor makes our nightmarezzz to make us azz mizzzzerable azz possible.” They looked up to him, finally. “So, yeah. I was making sure you were okay.”

They flinched as he wrapped his arms tightly around them. They didn’t move their own arms, slowly pressing their face into his chest. He rubbed their back as they stood, allowing them to nuzzle into him as long as they needed to.

He knew demons weren’t good at emotions. He couldn’t decipher what the hell they were thinking. Just... negative, that was all. He assumed they would just stand there, that that would be enough. He nearly didn’t notice them shaking in his arms, tiny gasps that racked their whole body.

“Bee?” He asked quietly, pressing a kiss to their wild hair. “Look at me,” he cooed. They resented for a moment, but finally forced themselves to do so. There were tears lining their eyes, making them glint in the low light. “Hey? Are you okay?” He asked, moving to gently hold their face.

“Of courzzze I am,” they answered stubbornly.

“You know… it’s okay to admit that you’re not okay, Bee.” They shook their head.

“No. I’m fine,” they maintained. They blinked, forcing the tears to roll down their cheeks.

“You are clearly not fine,” he tutted, shaking his head. “If anything, you’re making yourself worse.”

“If I ignore it long enough, it will go away,” they shrugged. “I juzzzt… wanted to make sure you were still alive, izzz all.” They made an attempt to pull away, though Gabriel kept them close.

“Hey. Hey, fine. You don’t have to talk about it. But let me help somehow,” he pleaded, pushing a lock of hair behind their ear. He was frustrated. Frustrated that they wouldn’t just accept that they weren’t okay. He supposed it was in their nature, that it was what they had been doing for millenia.

Maybe it was his fault that they were like this.

“How about I stay with you until you fall asleep? Think that will help?” He asked. They shrugged cluelessly. He pressed a kiss to their forehead before pulling them closer, keeping them tucked under his chin. “Let’s get you to bed, buzz.”

He took them by the shoulders, turning them around. They almost seemed numb now, silent, pliable. They just walked where he guided them to. He slowly led them back to their office, not saying a word. Hell’s halls were empty, demons taking full advantage of sloth in these hours.

Their door was left wide open, which was… concerning. They were so secretive. He couldn’t imagine them leaving it open.

They must have really been in a panic.

He sat them down on the couch before crouching down to be eye-level with them. “Hey. I’m okay. You’re okay,” he cooed. They said nothing, just patting the space beside them. He hesitated before following, sitting down beside them.

They immediately leaned into him, placing their head in his lap. They pulled their knees to their chest, keeping quiet. He let out a breath through his nose, smiling slightly. He reached to take their hand, intertwining his fingers with theirs.

It was odd to see them like this. So weak, so vulnerable. He had become used to them being this enigma, made of steel and sharp edges. Even if they didn’t admit it, it showed how much they trusted him.

He drew circular, looping designs on their back with his nails, smiling when they finally made a noise. A low, soft buzz, almost emulating a purr. It wasn’t long before their grip on his hand relaxed, signaling their retreat to sleep. He paid close attention. Anytime they began to whimper, twitch, seize, he leaned down to hold them close. The pressure seemed to help, as they always relaxed within his grip. It was almost peaceful, considering how terrible their previous attempt at sleeping was.

With hell’s lack of windows, or any access to the outside light, he lost track of time. He wasn’t sure how they did it, every demon seemed so aware of the time despite the lack of clocks or sun. He didn’t know it was even morning until Dagon walked into the room with a new pile of paperwork.

“Your highness, Asmodeus suggested you take a few days on earth to—“ she paused when she saw her boss curled up on their former enemy’s lap. Gabriel raised a finger to his lips, shaking his head. He doubted they enjoyed being woken up, and they had finally settled down.

A smile stretched across her face, her sharp teeth on full display. “Aw,” was all that escaped her lips as she set the stack down on their desk. Gabriel held them tighter as she began over to them, narrowing his eyes.

“You wake them,” he whispered, “I discorporate you. They just settled down.” Dagon only rolled her eyes, leaning down to examine them. The regular angular, angry shape of their features had relaxed, leaving them looking _somewhat _relaxed.__

“Good job,” they mumbled, vaguely impressed by how peaceful they appeared to be. “Have them call me when they wake up.” she instructed, turning on her heel back towards the door.

“Mhm,” he nodded with a gentle smile, rubbing Beelzebub’s arm lovingly. “But for now, they sleep.”


	9. Uh,,, hey!

Wow. Wowowowow. I disappeared for a year lmao. I am so, SO SORRY. I’m fully at fault for not keeping up with these. I could try to blame the dumpster fire that was 2020, but I have been keeping up with stories on other psueds. So I can’t. What I CAN say, is that my writing has improved quite a bit! I’ve got 1k words of a new chapter for this story in my docs. I’m gonna try to get it out within the next four hours. Seriously, I’m so sorry for disappearing. If nothing else, I’ve drastically improved my emotional health—I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m so happy to get back into writing IB— i miss them if I’m honest. I guess I can’t apologize enough, so I won’t try.


	10. Out.

Hell wasn’t actually hot.

Quite the opposite, frankly. Long winding halls of uninsulated stone and brick. Dank, water dripping in, chills running up and down the corridors riding an otherwise nonexistent breeze. And it got worse in the winter—well, of course it did. Snow on the earth’s surface made its way down as it melted, dripping through unfinished grout as ice-cold water, now dirtied and bloodied from the long trip.

It was nice to wake up warm for once, was all. Soft, downy wings encompassed Beelzebub as they slept, jaw slightly ajar, only enough to expose their sharp teeth to glint in the warm, buzzing lights above them. They groaned quietly, curling into a tighter ball. Their oxfords slipped on something—fabric, of a sort—the jolt enough to wake them completely.

Gabriel’s new wings were pretty. They’d admit that. They should have known he’d be prissy about caring for them. Whereas Beelzebub had no feathers to groom, just rough, shiny chitin, Gabriel had been meticulously caring for the newly-grown black and violet down that had been growing in to replace soft whites and lavenders. There were still bits of those colors, seeping through, sticking out like sore thumbs if one got to the angle to see them. But, most of them had been meticulously covered by their newer, duller counterparts, so it wasn’t easy to notice. They absentmindedly reached up to touch a blackened feather, sighing softly.

“Good afternoon,” Gabriel greeted nonchalantly. One hand was cradling Beelzebub’s head, his other hand carefully holding a book so he could push and turn the pages with his thumbs.

“Ugh,” they groaned, the only answer. The fluorescent lights above them were hurting their eyes, a dull and aching pain behind the nerves.

“Any more nightmares?” Gabriel hummed. His dark eyes flickered down to them, barely catching the frown that tugged their lips.

“Memoriezzz…” they mumbled.

“What kind of memories?” He murmured. “If I may ask,” he added quickly.

“Earth,” they shrugged. “Remember…” they sighed, turning to lay on their back. They draped their arm over their eyes, hoping to block out the intrusive illumination. “Remember when I ran as a serial killer a hundred or so yearzz ago? And I killed prostitutezzzz?”

“I recall. You killed me too, remember?”

“Yeah,” they laughed weakly. “That’zzz what I was remembering.”

“You’re lucky they never found my corporation, it would have ruined your m.o..”

“I guess,” they shrugged. “I didn’t really have an m.o., just killed who I killed. But…” they let their hand fall to hit their chest. “Your wingzzz are pretty. I like them this way.”

“As opposed to my doves?” He asked.

“Featherzzz in general. I miss them.”

“You don’t have them anymore?” Gabriel asked, tilting his head inquisitively. “What are they, bare? Bone?”

“No,” they huffed. “You know what I am,” they shrugged.

“Well, I thought demons typically keep their wings.”

“But, you know. I’m a fly.”

“...I’m sorry?”

“Lord of the fliezzzz. You know. Humanzzzz depict me as a big, nasty fly. Ever wonder why I buzzzzzzzz?” They scoffed.

“I mean… I guess I didn’t. I just… got used to it?”

“Mm,” they shrugged. “Well, you’re awfully fucking dense. I mean, there’zzz maggotzz in my face, I buzzzzz, fliezz are alwayzz around me—what are you, blind?” They grinned a bit. “I— yeah, my wingzzz are weird.” They shrugged slightly.

“May…” Gabriel closed his book, setting it down. “May I see them?”

“You’re pretty cocky, you know that?” They murmured. “Asking to see the prince’zzzzz wings? I’d kill most people for that…”

“Well, I think I’m allowed,” he mused. “You don’t have to—you’ve made me curious, though.”

Beelzebub stared at him for a moment, tilting their head before groaning quietly. “Oh, fuck you,” they murmured, even though there wasn’t any malice behind it. They shrugged off their morning coat, letting the dirtied wool hit the concrete floor of their office. One could rarely find a demon or angel without a coat of some sort, as they'd conceal the slits in the back of their clothes that would allow their wings to slip out comfortably. They sat back down beside them, reaching to gently untuck bits of their vest to release him.

Even in the disgusting electric lights, the way the chitin composing their wings caught it and twisted it into prismatic colors. It fascinated him how their wings could twist as they slipped from their vest.

He'd never quite looked at the wings of a fly. He didn't know they were so… pretty.

“They're… gorgeous,” he murmured, watching them flutter them briefly.

“They're bugzzz,” Beelzebub deadpanned.

“And gorgeous.” Gabriel reached out, his fingers hovering over their edge. When they didn't swat him away, he gently ran them along them. They shivered under his touch, sighing and folding their arms. “Okay?”

“I'm fine,” they shrugged. “They just do that.”

“Mm,” he sighed, pulling away. “They're pretty.”

“They're not. Maybe you are blind,” they considered. Each time he touched them, no matter how gently, they’d move, their rapid fluttering adding to their constant buzz.

“I like the way they bend the light.” He shrugged, eventually resting his hand on the arc of their wing. They sighed through pursed lips, looking down and closing their eyes.

“They’ll break if you aren’t careful,” they murmured.

“...have you broken them before?”

“Yeah,” they moved one forward, bending it around them so they could hold it. They traced a scar, white and rough where it had healed. “Before I knew they were so fragile. Dagon tugged a little too hard when she was washing some blood off of them. Hurt like a bitch.” The other chuckled slightly, running the pad of his finger along the scar.

What the fuck were they doing?

They quickly pulled their wing back, tucking them back into their vest. Gabriel flinched at their sudden movements, watching as they shrugged on their coat. It was suddenly all too real and tangible in their head. They were too aware of their pounding heart, of their pounding head. It was overwhelming. “I have work to be doing,” they muttered, a sorry excuse. “ _You_ have work to be doing,” they sneered. Every semblance of the demon he’d just had in his arms disappeared then. Now, it was the Beelzebub he knew when he was in Heaven. A curled lip, tight posture, narrow eyes. They slid in front of and into their chair, snapping their fingers together. Gabriel watched as a flame lit on the corner of their desk, slowly giving bloom to a stack of paperwork.

“Bee?” He asked softly, pushing himself up to his feet.

“Don’t call me that,” they snapped, letting out a heavy sigh from their nose. As usual, their Pride got the better of them. “I have a meeting with the featherbrained prickzzz upstairzz at half past thirteen. You’re coming, go tell Hastur that he is as well. Out,” they ordered.

Hesitantly, Gabriel adjusted his stance. Him? Go upstairs?

Fuck.

“Yes, sir,” he finally settled on. “I’ll see you then.”

Fucking hell. Just letting him touch them like that. Just letting him talk to them like that. They didn’t want that in their head right now.

“Out.”


	11. Meetings and Such

Being between Hastur and Beezebub was incredibly intimidating. These were two demons that, for his whole life since the fall, had been trying to kill Gabriel. And now, here they were, completely calm, making their way up to heaven with him. And not for any hostile reason. Just a simple business meeting. Now, he was less worried about the demons that would be present, and more worried about the angels he’d have to see. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to look any of them in the eye一not that it was terribly obvious when he wasn’t making eye contact, these days. Still, it was the principle of the thing.

He knew how these meetings tended to go. Michael got cocky, Beelzebub got irritated, a little blood was spilled, and nothing truly got done. Sometimes they’d get a breakthrough, but it was rarer than diamond.

The three stepped off of the escalator, into the pristine sterility of heaven. The light hurt his eyes. Had he just been in the dark for too long? He blinked rapidly, rubbing his eyes as they made their way to an all too familiar room, one with a long table lined with uncomfortable clear plastic chairs.

The angels were already there, early as usual. It was the stroke of half past thirteen, and yet, he felt late. He didn’t like the way the others were looking at him, he could feel the judgement dripping from their gaze. Is this how Bee had felt each time they stepped foot into heaven? If it was, how were they so nonchalant about it? Sure, he had a feeling they couldn’t care less what the others thought of them, but that was something Gabriel couldn’t even fathom. He couldn’t help but cast his eyes downwards, though he could still feel their stare boring holes into him.

“Gabriel,” Michael greeted curtly, though he could hear multitudes of disappointment behind her words. He made no verbal reply, just nodding shortly before sitting down beside Bee. “I’m surprised you’ve climbed the ranks so fast.”

“Good angelzz make better demonzzzz,” Beelzebub answered for him, tossing their leg aimlessly over the armrest of the chair. “But I didn’t trek all this way to bask in your disappointment in him. If you don’t want us taking our leave right now, you’d better start talking.”

“Right,” Michael adjusted her blazer, sitting up further in her chair. “Well, we’ve been sitting on an idea for a few months now. What would you say to re-attempting the apocalypse?”

Beelzebub guffawed. “I’m afraid that the antichrist is very set on keeping earth azzz izzzz. He may be young, but he’zzz powerful, and he’zzz not going anywhere anytime soon. So, sorry, but I’m gonna have to decline your offer until Adam izz dead.” they examined their nails, polishing them on the lapel of their coat.

“So, we kill him,” Michael said simply, as if it were the most obvious answer in the world.

“You can’t just _kill_ the Antichrist,” Gabriel interjected, cocking a brow. “He’ll come back, just like any other demon will. And you saw what happened with Crowley, Holy water hasn’t been very reliable lately.”

“Besides, this izzz something we’d have to ask Himself about. I don’t really have the authority to just up and kill hizzz son.” Beelzebub clicked their tongue, eyes flicking up to meet Michael’s. “Honestly, Mikey, you’re smarter than this.”

Michael glanced between them, clearly annoyed at their well-founded defiance. She was used to dealing with Beelzebub’s stubborn bad attitude, but Gabriel was harder. He was calm about it, and made her feel like an idiot. “Well,” she scoffed. “If you’re going to shoot it down so quickly, then fine. But think about it, maybe, in that pea-sized little brain of yours.”

“I’ll be sure to,” Beelzebub rolled their eyes, watching as Michael stood up.

“As for regular updates,” She began, her shoes clicking against the linoleum as she began to pace around the table. “How are things downstairs?”

“Horribly, thankzzzz for asking. Thozze low-lifezzzz want a war, and it’zz a big hissy fit now that they aren’t going to get it. Not to mention the huge influx of soulzz and work. Sort of a blessing in disguizzze that you gave us a new hire, hm?” Michael pursed her lips slightly.

“So I take it you’ve been doing your job,” Michael placed a hand on Gabriel’s shoulder, everything about the exchange condescending.

“Touch me again and I’ll rip you limb from limb,” Gabriel responded casually, thumbing through the papers on his desk. He could see Beelzebub’s small smirk from the corner of his eye, making it worth the disgust on his former coworker’s face. Michael removed her hand, folding her arms.

“Very well,” she muttered. “If you all are going to be so incredibly stubborn, I suppose there’s nothing more we have to speak about with you.”

“Yep,” Beelzebub nodded, “I don’t want to spend any more time with you feathery fuckzzz than I need to.”

“A pleasure as always, Beelzebub.”

“It’s Lord Beelzzzebub to you, Mikey. Killed a lot of people for that title一you’d do best to uzze it.” they cracked their knuckles as they stood up, turning on their heel. “Oh, yeah, I’m going to make you fax a synopsis to me before any new meetingzzzz, to make sure we don't waste time, as you seem to adore doing. No synopsis, no meeting. Are we clear?”

“As mud,” Michael sneered. She caught Gabriel’s eyes again, narrowing them. He merely sighed, offering an annoyed wave. No wonder Beelzebub was always so done with these meetings. It was incredibly frustrating, being on this side of things.

Not that it was any easier being in Michael’s position. Really, was there a point to these meetings, other than to get everyone mad?

He followed Beelzebub, Hastur trailing behind them. Back down to earth, then to Hell.

Gabriel hated the way he was so relieved to be back, back in the dark. It made him nauseous to be up there, even though it was only for a half an hour, at most.

“I fucking hate thozzzze,” Beelzebub huffed, folding their arms.

“No kidding,” Gabriel shook his head. “And I thought you were difficult.”

“See,” they started, “Hell doesn’t get a nice little pardon from God when we mess up. We have to be careful, unlike those birdbrainzz,” they muttered. “Anywayzzzs, thank you for freaking Michael out, I love to see that look on her face.”

“What, absolute terror?” Gabriel scoffed, though a smile painted his lips nonetheless.

“Exzzactly,” they hummed.

Once down in Hell, everyone just about went their separate ways. Well, more accurately, Hastur and Beelzebub went their separate ways, and Gabriel followed Beelzebub. He walked beside them, though glanced down to them as they walked together. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“What?”

“Are you okay?” he repeated. “You seemed really stressed this morning.”

“I’m alwayzzzz stressed,” they shrugged.

“Fine, more than usual, you seemed stressed.”

“I’m fine,” they shrugged. Gabriel knew better than to believe that, but he also knew better than to prod for the real answer. He merely went quiet, looking forward. They didn’t reprimand him for following them. They knew he had nothing better to be doing, he finished his work for the time being. And… it was nice to have a little bit of background noise as they worked, if nothing else.

They wouldn’t admit, not in a million years, that they simply enjoyed his company. But that was exactly it.

They left the door open behind them一not necessarily holding it for him, but the gesture was still there. “How did it feel to be back up there?” they asked, their tone suddenly much more serious and sincere than He’d heard it since the night before.

“Feels… Sick. I feel sick,” he decided. “Nauseous, and my eyes hurt.”

“Heaven will do that to you,” they sighed, sitting on their desk. “The longer you’re up there, the worse you’ll feel. You get a migraine, you start to feel faint. Why I always try to keep thingzzzz short, even if that meanzz being rude. Not that I give a shit about nicitiezzz with them.” It felt odd to hear them say _them_ rather than _you_. “But I’m not really worried about that, you’ll alwayzz feel like shit when you come back. No, ah, like, mentally. How did it feel to be back up there?”

“...Like shit,” he shrugged. “You can _feel_ the disappointment rolling off of them in waves.”

“Right?” they chuckled. “It will be awkward and uncomfortable for the first few yearzz. You’ll eventually get used to it, though, and it stops feeling so shitty. You just get mad.”

“Yeah?” he sighed. “What was the worst part of it, for you?”

“Seeing you,” they admitted, though it was so nonchalant. “Made me want to cry, or punch you, whatever. Worzze than that first time I discorporated you.”

“Really?” he scoffed.

“Yeah, pretty much. I eventually just got the hang of blocking out all emotionzzz whenever I came up for a meeting. Focus on the physical pain, you know?” they shrugged. “But my woundzzzz aren’t fresh, yourzzz are.”

“I… think i’ll be okay.” He wouldn’t bring it up, but it meant a whole lot to him that they even cared to check up on him, let alone in a serious manner like that. He had a feeling that they knew, anyhow. He was pretty easy to read.

They quickly fell back into the monotonous work of editing, signing, and burning papers. And Gabriel just watched. They didn’t protest, that was the thing that shocked him the most. That they simply weren’t opposed to having him there right now.

With their current stack of paperwork finally dwindling to mere sheets, they sat back, their feet propping up against their desk. “It feelzz pointless.”

“Sorry?”

“It feelzzz pointless. The work, living in general. I have nothing to be working towards. No apocalyptic war promising to end thigzzz… so what’zz the point? This shit will never end. It will keep going, repetitive as ever, and it will never end. It will never end by a win, it will never end by a lozzze.” they set their chin in their hand, their elbow resting on the table. “Thingzzz get old really quick. Torturing people izzzn’t fun anymore, it lozzzes itzzz appeal after a few millennia. So,” they sighed, “What’zzz the point?”

“I don’t like where this is going.”

“Where it’zzz going, izz, why even keep going, at this point? There’zzz nothing to look forward to, there’zzz nothing to fear…” they rubbed their temples.

“Are you really about to consider dunking yourself in holy water?”

“Maybe.”

An uncomfortable silence fell between the two. “Hey… Bee…” he slowly got to his feet, approaching their desk. “Don’t say things like that. Please.”

“You would have been happy to encourage me a decade ago.”

“Well, it isn’t a decade ago. And believe it or not, I don’t think I’d be able to bring myself to do that…”

“You’re right, you’d want to kill me yourself,” they gandered, tilting their head. They couldn’t tell if they were horrified or encouraged by the look of disgust on his face.

“Bee…”

“Lord Beelzzzebub,” they corrected, disgruntled. He really wished they’d just allow him to call him Bee, Even just Beelzebub.

“Oh, for the love of God, Bee, drop this! Drop the damn act! That’s some serious shit you're spewing, and I一I…”

“You care, becauzzze you are an idiot. Stop caring. Stop doing this, stop一”

“No. Listen, Beelzebub. I put you through a lot of shit, I get it. You hate it here. You’re supposed to. But I just got the love of my fucking existance back, and I’m not about to let you一” He stopped short when he felt them bring their hand down against his cheek, no doubt leaving a bright red imprint. There was a certain amount of shock that came with the action, but once it faded, he really took a look at Bee. shaking, fists balled up, tears ining their eyes.

“Don’t you dare zzzzzzay that to me,” they growled, their ambient buzzing taking a forefront as their rage piled. “Demonzzzzz don’t get to love! We don’t get a happy fucking ending, Gabriel! We get pain, and zzzzuffering, and nightmarezzzz, and hatred! Don’t you get it?! We don’t get to be happy down here!” they were fuming, their hands sparking rogue hellfire. “How can you even zzzay that shit, at thizzz point?! The angel you loved izzz gone, and whatever you think you’re getting onto, it izzzzn’t going to fucking work! I lozzzt any ability to love _millenia_ ago, you hear me?!”

When Gabriel's hands were around their wrists, holding them in place, they couldn’t help but panic. “Beelzebub,” he interjected, and when they didn’t answer, “Bee, _look at me_ , you dumbass!” their eyes, now red, rather than the icy cold blue they usually depicted, flicked up at him. He couldn't tell what their dominant emotion was right now. Rage? Sadness? It was blurry. “I know Jophiel is dead. I get it. I’ve gotten it for a while. But _you_ aren’t dead, Bee. Yes, you’ve changed, a lot. But it’s still _you_. It’s still your dumb little snort, it’s still you complaining about those under you, it’s still you drinking too much. You’re still the dumbass I love, whether you like it or not. Do you hear me?”

Beelzebub seemed almost frightened with the sincerity. They pulled away, their hands balled up and bleeding from their own claws. “Get out,” they ordered. Their voice was shaky, teetering on the edge of breaking. “Please.”


End file.
